Remembering
by Fancy Pants Penguin Jiao-Jie
Summary: Azula is still trying to recover after her return home, and one thing she hasn't been able to do again, is fire bend. One night while trying she gets help from an unexpected source, who imparts some of his wisdom. Oneshot! Rating for my paranoia.


**Remembering**

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Princess Azula took a deep breath, hands down at her sides. Slowly she raised them, took a step backwards, and focused her energy out of her chest. As she stepped forward, the princess thrust both of her palms out, pushing her chi out of her chest to create…nothing. Not one spark.

Azula yelled in frustration and kicked the ground. Ever since she'd come home after two years on Fengkuang Island, she hadn't been able to fire bend. _Two years in that place,_ she thought, _I can't believe it_. Could she have really been locked up for that long? Two years of white walls and light cotton clothing. Two years of healers making her drink awful tasting solutions and chew on bitter leaves. It seemed like yesterday that she felt her own mind crumble around her. But she had spent two more years building it back up, and she was finally allowed to come home.

Since returning to Capital City, Azula had kept to herself, which was easy considering the wide berth that everyone gave her. She made sure to boss around servants and be just as snotty and sarcastic as normal, but now it felt forced. She had trouble caring about anything enough to be as snarky as she once was. Zuko had noticed the difference; his sister didn't have the same kind of presence as before, she was like a reflection of herself.

The only thing she really did anymore was try to re-learn bending, and go with Zuko to his peace negotiations, which had progressed at a surprisingly slow pace.

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"_Maybe if you come along they won't try to take advantage of me; they're trying to milk this country for everything its worth," her brother told her spitefully._

"_What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, causing Zuko to shift awkwardly._

"_It means they're trying to make us pay them lots of money," he said exaggeratingly slow. Azula glared and stepped into a fire bending stance, causing her brother to roll his eyes, "Come on, Azula, we both know you haven't been able to bend since you got back."_

_Azula pulled her fist back like she would shoot fire at him, and then swiftly kicked him in the knee, "OW," he yelled rubbing his leg, "You didn't have to do that, I was just kidding."_

_Azula only smiled, "And I didn't kick you that hard, either." _

_Zuko sighed, "Fine, the Earth Kingdom ambassadors still remember when you took over Ba Sing Se. Maybe it'll make them realize that not everyone in the Fire Nation is quite as dedicated to peace as I am, and they'll be willing to work a little bit too," he tried to explain, to which the princess scoffed, said that she would go and left him standing in the hall._

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Presently, the princess closed her eyes and began trying to focus her energy for another shot at bending.

And another anticlimactic failure. The young woman yelled louder, kicking a rock across the courtyard.

"You can't fire bend anymore, can you?" Azula was embarrassed when she actually jumped and gasped at the unexpected voice, but she quickly recovered.

The princess crossed her arms and looked to the side, summoning up an imitation of her former arrogant tone, "Of course I can, why would you even ask that?"

The boy stared at her, his clear grey eyes weren't accusing, and there was no hatred in them, which confused the princess. He waited for a moment before asking, "Do you want me to help you?"

Azula scoffed, "No, there's nothing to help me with," she said defensively, but Aang ignored her and walked out into the main courtyard.

"Zuko had a similar problem when he decided to join me and my friends," he said casually, "it's because he used to rely on rage for fire bending, but when he wasn't angry anymore, he had to find a new way." He took off his heavy outer robe and hung it over a bench, then stepped up in front of Azula. "Well? Sit down," the avatar said, poking Azula in the side with his staff.

The princess slapped the staff away and plopped down the ground to sit cross legged, feeling uncomfortable. _Why would he care about helping me?_ She asked herself while she watched Aang sit down across from her. With a wave of his hand the avatar was holding a small fire ball. "Do you know what chakras are?" he asked.

Azula raised her eyebrow and thought she could vaguely remember Ty-Lee mentioning something of the sort, "Am I supposed to?"

"Not really," Aang sounded almost cheerful. "They're the spots where energy tends to build up in your body. Each chakra is fueled by different emotions, and blocked by certain others," he explained motioning with his hands, "Also; each bending discipline comes from focusing different kinds of energy. Fire bending comes from the stomach chakra."

"O….kay," Azula said slowly, finding herself actually interested.

"What did you rely on to fire bend?" He asked. Azula didn't want to tell him, she felt her defenses shoot back up and she didn't answer. "I'm just trying to go back to the beginning, so that we can figure out what's wrong," Aang explained.

"I…used a lot of pent up hurt and rage," she said quickly, feeling naked and awkward the next second.

Aang only nodded, "That's what I figured. The stomach chakra is where love, passion, and desire originate. That's why these are the best emotions to fuel fire bending, but that's not how most people do it."

Azula frowned, "That doesn't make any sense," she said. In her classes she was taught to focus anger; she was taught that was what produced the most powerful fire bending, and all of her experiences showed the same. Her bending was always strongest when her heart felt like it was about to break, or when she was so mad she felt like she could destroy the world.

"Yes it does. Most fire benders use hate, I know that. Rage is a deep, powerful emotion. It makes for powerful bending, but someone who relies on rage will eventually be destroyed. If a bender keeps hate in his heart for too long, it will never go away and it eats him alive.

"Hate is always easier than love, but it's never, ever as powerful," Aang said, looking into Azula's eyes; the princess nodded slowly, lowering her eyes to the flames in the boy's hand. "It may seem like fire is only destruction, but it isn't. It's the sun's life giving light; it's the spark that connects all living things. Your fire is the life that burns in your heart."

There was a long, peaceful pause in which Azula tried to wrap her mind around what Aang said. '_It eats him alive,'_ the princess remembered the hollow, cancerous feeling in her chest that grew throughout her childhood and that she used to draw her fire from.

She felt like she might understand, and she finally spoke, "Wow. You're pretty wise for a 14 year old," the princess said with wide eyes.

Aang laughed, it was a full, happy sound that even made Azula smile, "That's what they tell me," the avatar said with a grin.

"Anyway," Aang continued, smiling, "I think if we open your chakra, and get the energy flowing, you could be able to relearn fire bending."

"Really?" The princess asked, "How do you open it?"

"The stomach chakra is blocked by guilt. It stops the energy from flowing out. Try and think about what makes you guilty. Focus on it, and work on accepting it."

Azula looked away and into the fire with a frown marring her delicate features. Feeling stupid, she closed her eyes and remembered. She remembered standing across from Zuko and the water bender, Katara, she reminded herself.

She remembered the way the earth felt like it was swaying, as though she was standing on a boat, but she realized now that it was her, weaving back and forth.

She remembered knowing that Zuko would defeat her, she remembered the rage building and her mind clouding up when she noticed Katara standing to the side.

However, she didn't remember the look on Zuko's face when she hit him with the lightening. She remembered him leaping in front of her, she remembered seeing him fall, but her memory was blurred, and all she could remember hearing was a strange whooshing noise.

There was one thing she knew for sure though.

_I would have killed him,_ she thought, _if Katara wasn't there._ She felt her stomach clenching up, but she worked not to let it show on her face. She may have been a fallen, crazy princess, but that didn't mean she wanted everyone to see it.

Aang must have noticed something though, because he interrupted her thoughts, "Now you have to let it go."

Azula felt panic grab the edge of her mind. She thought of the crushing, shattering feeling of that day and she desperately tried to hold the pieces together while she allowed herself to remember.

She heard her own screams and remembered sitting outside of herself. She remembered Zuko holding her head in his lap after she stopped yelling. _He could have died, but he didn't._ She reminded herself, _He didn't. _The princess breathed deeply; she felt the heat of the fire against her skin and let the tight thick, icy, feeling in her chest drip away. It was replaced by something warm and calming. The panic was gone, and the cracking had stopped.

For the first time in years, Azula could feel neither the tendrils of hysteria at the bottom of her mind, nor a gaping, hollow, empty area in her heart. She opened her eyes to see the grin of the young avatar. "It opened, huh?" he said, still smiling.

"I…think so." Azula answered cautiously, the peaceful feeling was new to her.

"Good." Aang stood, extinguishing the fire with another wave of his hand, "Maybe you should try fire bending again. This time try to think about all of the things you love, make you happy, or that you're passionate about."

Azula nodded from her place on the ground. With a wave, another of his contagious smiles, and a small gust of wind, Avatar Aang was gone, but Azula felt whole again.

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**A/N: **I just couldn't let Azula go yet!

If anyone has read my story, "A Fire Nation Flower," this is sort of like an afterward for it. =]

Also, if you read this, I love you! Please let me know if you loved it or hated it, either way, I appreciate the feedback.


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